Tips to Avoid Falling Victim to Halloween Disaster (guest post)

10/01/15

So September has wrapped up and we are now entering one of our favorite holidays, HALLOWEEN! Be prepared for all of the classic horror movies being played on your TV stations!

In the spirit of the season, one of our friends offered to write a fun little post on what he’s learned from the years of watching horror movies.

happy halloween

Hi Philo75 readers!

Thanks for having me here. I wanted to contribute some helpful tips on how to survive in a scary situation. I’d like to think that I have some expertise in this, as I’ve only watched, oh, like, hundreds of horror movies. It also seems like in each of these movies, the characters always make the SAME mistakes and get taken out.

So, here is what I gathered to survive getting killed by a guy named Jason wearing a scary mask, or if you somehow end up in an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere:

1. When it appears that you have killed a monster, NEVER approach it to check if it’s really dead just get the hell out of there.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud. Never. Ever. Not even as a joke. This goes doubly for the Book of the Dead.

3. Do not investigate any basements, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them. Immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Please note that it will likely take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair up and go off alone.

6. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you’re investigating a strange noise and find that it was just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out of there.

10. Do not take ANYTHING belonging to a dead person. They will miss it and they will kill you to get it back.

11. If you come across a seemingly deserted town, there’s probably a good reason for it. Don’t stop and look around.

12. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.

13. If you’re running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, etc, kill them. Immediately.

15. Avoid certain geographical locations, for example: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. Sidenote: If you’re not sure how you ran out of gas because you had a full tank, go ahead and shoot yourself. You are going to die anyway, most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools, even if they’re sexy shirtless country boys with a wonderful manly chest. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices constructed from deceased companions.

18. If you discover that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with someone else. Anyone else. Stay in a hotel. Just get out. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic rituals in your house.

It all boils down to this: Want to survive this Halloween? Don’t touch it. Don’t take it home. Don’t call its name. Don’t make fun of it. Don’t pick it up. Don’t poke it with a stick. Don’t create it in a lab. Don’t tease it. Don’t investigate it. Don’t assume it’s not evil. Don’t read it out loud. Don’t invoke it. Don’t summon it. Don’t give it to someone as a gift. Don’t dig it up. JUST DON’T FUCK WITH IT!

Have a Happy Halloween!

Submitted by Trent from http://gynecomastiasurgerytoronto.com/

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Ever thought about advertising on TV?

09/16/15

advertising on local tv stationsadvertising on local tvstationstv advertising

Most small businesses wouldn’t even fathom the idea of doing national TV advertising, as their budgets would not allow it. However, one thing to keep in mind that advertising on local stations could be really affordable and give you a good return on your investment. Most local stations offer a variety of programming that attracts a multitude of demographics, so it is quite easy to target your ideal audience. Most local stations nowadays offer nationally popular shows, such as reality TV shows, sports, soap operas, movies, and all of the hot primetime series!

There are different price ranges for TV advertising. Obviously, a commercial slot during a hot talk show (something like Oprah) would cost more than a slow during the mid afternoon. The most expensive time slots are usually between 6 to 7 in the evening. However, costs from a local station are considerably lower than running your commercial on a national channel. Local real estate agents, lawyers, accountants, hair salons, etc, can now have an outlet on TV to show their business! You can now attract customers in your area.

Primetime commercials are pricey, even on local channels, but the audiences for these types of programs are far greater in numbers than a show that airs after 10 pm. A trick to this is to run your adverts during rerun season for a popular show. Most networks won’t let you know this, but you can work out a deal with them, letting them know that you are not willing to pay full price for an ad spot during a rerun. These big hit shows generally have a very loyal following all year rounadvertising on local tv stationsd, and this could mean big returns for you.

Another downside to TV advertising is that you may find yourself in the middle of a bidding war. You may reserve a spot, but if someone else comes in and wants that same time slot, they can offer a higher price for it, and bump you out. You can always come back in and place a higher bid, but keep in mind to stay on budget.

The best times to purchase TV time are the first and second quarter of the year. The first quarter usually is open to negotiating discounts, due to the fact that sales reps are scrambling to make sales after overspending during the holidays. Compare deals from different stations.

Keep in mind that if you are signing a 6 month contract with the network, that most of them offer a 5% discount UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES. Do not take this offer up and think it is a good deal if you are negotiating during the first quarter. This is a standard regular offer that they give to everyone.

Make sure to pick the timeslots that best targets your ideal customers, and you should get some return on your money.

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Welcome

11/22/14

Hi there, welcome to my website.

If you are like me, you absolutely love television. This website will discuss things I’ve watched, from TV shows, to movies, to commercials, and even about upcoming new technologies. TV has advanced so much since it’s initial inception, and it is one of my passions.

I’d first like to talk about the streaming movement. Do you find yourself using services like Netflix more than watching actual television? It is so convenient as there is a huge selection of shows and movies, something to satisfy everyone’s tastes.

There’s also on demand television, offered by the traditional cable services, which allow you to select shows and movies that you may have missed during the day. No need to break out the VHS and set it to record your favorite show! More and more, these technologies are catering to our busy lives and have our convenience in mind.

The thing that I do miss, and am sorry that the future generations won’t have to experience, is sitting through and watching commercials. With these modern day updates, we can simply fast forward through them, and premium streaming services simply don’t have any commercials.

Either way, I believe that television is still a wonderful pastime for us to escape the real world, if only for a 20 minute sitcom.

I cannot wait to share my thoughts and opinions, and would love to hear what you think also.

Hope you return, and keep watching!

I leave you with a video featuring some really great commercials!

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